loving life just the way it is

Life is a bliss, no matter from which you judge it, if you have an amply healthy body, a roof over your head, food on your plate and some cash in your pocket and bank life is a bliss.

Then why do a huge majority of us forget to love life after a while? Is the explanation as simple as that life gets tough with age and responsibility?

I guess not, I believe we let the power of enjoying life slip by with age and responsibility.

Its true that our responsibilities with age are graver than childhood responsibilities, but children take things like study and result equally gravely. Their bad performance in school is equally devastating as our bad performance in job.

I believe it all depends on the chance of mindset, in childhood we used to count our blessings like today is Monday, that means four more days of school then it will be Saturday, half day.. and so on. Now we wake up and think, “Monday..oh no, another week to drag by!”

In childhood we had time for all type of fun, no matter how busy our life was with school, after school and pre school tutions or other serious activities. We always had some time to climb trees, eat junk foods, take a solid soaking in rain, a sun bath in sun..but matured us, we ignore these urges and try to show ourselves as something grumpier than we actually are, even when we are alone.

We deprive ourselves from happiness, that is why become sad with growing age. If we stop depriving ourselves and start to look for happiness in every thing then we will see that life was just the way it was but happiness has increased in thousandfolds.

movies

Its interesting to think how movies sometimes absolutely transform our point of views. Just like any normal human being I have seen countless movies, and some of them have absolutely transformed me.

Machis by gulzar taught me to look at terrorists as human beings like you and me, a green mile taught me life is not always fair, sometimes an innocent man fails to prove his innocence and dies in the hands of law, which was supposed to protect his life. Schindler’s list moved me so badly that I was not able to smile for an entire day (I am infamous for laughing too much).

Time and time again this medium has been used as a great weapon to wake up sleeping human souls, recently I saw a movie that again reminded me how much transforming a movie can do..shawshank redemption is a movie about an innocent man who landed in the jail and the horrors he had to go through.. it was a really, really creepy movie because reality was just placed in black and white with none other than Morgan Freeman narrating the story in background, I dreamt of the movie the whole night. Well, it made me a little more kinder toward so called criminals.. that’s for sure.

Recently I saw Philadelphia, well i am horrible when it comes to watch sad movies.. so I will not indulge in elaborate discussions about the limit to which it moved me, but will certainly request people to see it before they hate gays or HIV positive people.

These two movies really shook me up in recent times, and they convinced me that my policy is correct- to not hate someone unless I have enough reasons to do so. Thank God I have always been taught by my parents to walk in someone’s shoes before hating him/her.

Caring for oneself

We often confuse that caring for others has some clash with caring for oneself. We think that by taking care of our own needs we become selfish. I have seen too many people suffering from this complex, I also did, even now I am not fully over it when it comes to physical needs but in case of mental or spiritual needs I have grown up a little.

A little more explanation ……

I only mix with people who leave positive impact on me. In case of people who make a negative impact on me by their rude behaviour, complaining nature, incurable gloomy nature I first try to change them and then I slowly distance myself.

A person once doled out a million dollar wisdom to me, he said that we let these people linger around us because we look for friends too desperately. When I soul searched I realized that he was true. So I moved another step toward my goal. And started to de weed these persons from my life as a result my life transformed a lot.

Second, I treat myself as a queen, and others too, if they don’t force me to change my mind. I am determined to enjoy my stay here, no matter what. So I treat myself with compassion, kindness and sweetness. Before believing any sarcastic remarks I think who is correct, if the person is correct I just remind him that a remark can be made properly, and then thank him for his honesty and keep his words in mind. But not before reminding him that he should stay within limits of manners.

Third, I never let gloomy souls suck me down to their whirlpool, I stay clearly away from that quagmire and throw them the rope, right on their head, and if they catch it and let me pull themselves out I do that, but I don’t let them make me a part of their misery. I clearly show them the ways they can combat it, and cure themselves. A real human being never wants to make others miserable, he may need a hand to clutch from time to time but he doesnot uses that hand to paint his benefactor’s heart black. He clutches that hand, walks out of his hell and blesses his benefactor for the rest of his life.

Fourth, I never let anyone make me believe that the world is bad, I always stick to my belief (which was once lost but regained) that most of the human beings are good, but a big proportion of them are misguided by doomsayers, so I try to bring them out of that misconception by drawing their attention to goodness of human beings.

Diwali-the injun way!!!!!

Indians call deepawali ( a row of earthen lamps) a festival of light.

Me says, it’s the victory of sound demon on earth. I used to be one of the worshippers of this demon before I crossed my twenties.. that is on my twentieth birthday I had to say goodbye to crackers courtsey a shivering ball of furs, about 16 inches or so high from ground.. my pet.

She taught me how inhumane the torture is on other living beings. While we crack those stupid crackers with loudest possible sound other living beings suffer.

Good that she persuaded me to give up crackers. Because ever since last ten years I have started to cherish the feeling that I am not a part of these demon worshippers. These superior, intelligent beings (actually dumbest beings ) who believe that they are smart and do the dumbest things. Like harassing others for fun.

The crackers which can be finished up before the bed time of others start to come out of their sick closets past bedtime.. I could imagine their ghoulish faces lightened up with ecstassy of bothering others.. sorry, I just cant make any other picture of these people.. they remind me of the ghoules I have seen in a movie who used to crawl out of sewerage when every one was sleeping… to eat people.. the only difference is that these ghoules eat our brains.. a thing which they sure need in extra proportions. I personally believe the dumber a person is the more addicted he is to loud sound…..

When we were children we had strict instructions of finishing all sound crackers on diwali before ten p.m. then we were worshippers of goddess of light not sound demon.

I only feel truly unhappy when cops or fire fighters perish to put out the fires set by these brats (some times middle aged brats too, I have seen people as old as forty years bursting crackers). Like six fire men perished when they went to put out the flames in THE SAME BUILDING for the second time on dipawali night.

Kalipuja in rustic way

Most of the urban Bengalis celebrate deepawali, but to some rare and lucky people like me, who have a “desher bari aka family home in village” are blessed with the chance of celebrating the real Kalipuja.



Well, let me warn you in the very beginning its not for feeble hearted people.

My ancestral home is under Khandaghosh P.S., its an old single storied home, atleast a few hundred years old, surrounded by ruins of our earlier abodes. The scenery is simply mind blowing.

On one side there is river damodar with its vast spread banks of sand and small gardens, on the other side are ruins, bushes, trees, bamboo groves and empty land.



Our home lights up only five days per year, during the durgapuja, when the entire family gathers. They bring generator sets and electricians who light up the entire house. It is enveloped in darkness through out the remaining year, the only mean of light is primitive forms like lantern and candle.

I have been to the Kalipuja a few times only, the place is not very safe so I had to stop myself from visiting regularly, but the memory of those puja is never to be erased from my heart and mind.

Kalipuja starts at midnight of the amavasya and the idol is immersed on bhaiphonta aka bhaidooj (the day after kalipuja). We - I, my two siblings and my uncle used to land in home at about noon of Kalipuja, after that my uncle used to leave to locate the purohit and see if the preparations are going in the right direction, and we used to fish out the pradeeps to clean them up and fill them with oil.



We used to place them all around the house after the dusk has settled in, with the help of others. I still rue the lack of a good camera, by which we could take the snap of that marvelous picture which those lighted pradeeps used to make at night.

Those of you who have a little imagination can just close your eyes and imagine a very old house surrounded by utter darkness. Only the house is lighted with simmering pradeeps, lined up beautifully against the dark sky and the dark surroundings. I still can see that scene after ten years in my mind’s eye.

After the puja used to start we used to gather in the pujamandap with handcounted villagers, who had sacrificed the funs of crackers to attend the puja. The pujamandap used to be dimly lit, with a couple of lanterns and petromaxes (a lantern like thing which burns atleast ten times brighter). We used to silently sit there, half dozing or watching the puja.

I used to slip out before the balidan (animal sacrifice), and go to the home, and sit at the gate, silently watching the people of Burdwan bursting crackers. As the only thing between Burdwan and my village was vast bank of Damodar river and the river itself I could see the bright crackers.



That’s a non forgettable memory. Not a single soul any where, just me and the silent surroundings. The sky full of stars, a silent dark row of ruined rooms where once was atithishala (rooms for travellers seeking shelter for night), and our own ancestor’s abodes, a sleepy riverbank lined by trees, the sky full of light of firecrackers.

We used to return the next morning, the purohit used to take care of the puja of the remaining two days, and the bisarjan.

Happy dipawali!

bear and bee

There are two types of people who get fame in world, bears and bees. Bees are those who get fame by hard work or talent and bears are those who get fame by hitting bee’s fame. That is bees built the beehive stock it up with honey and bears just paw at it and get it.

Everyone has heard the name of tagore, everyone loves and respects his work, I used to observe that some writers had a habit of ruthlessly attacking him and his works, as if that is the sole motto of their life. They were born for this. I almost worship tagore hence I really hated them, till one day some one pointed out a fact to me.

She said if you visit them invisibly you might see that they are devouring on tagore’s works, but they use him as easy way to fame.

She said, if they praised tagore like everyone does half of the people might not have even read the articles, but as they are acting against the tide, throwing mud at a respected figure, they are earning everyone’s glare.

People have forgotten a lot of people who even died for Gandhiji, but none has forgotten Nathuram Godse.

There are people who act like trees and there are people who are like mistletoes, thrive on them.

Just like the bear and bee, one piles up the honey other gets the honey by pawing on it.

Letting go

Letting go.. well, I am an expert in this field. People often express wonder at my expertise but I do.

It doesnot matters how much I love a thing/person if I can convince myself that its not mine I can let it go, and finally get over that pain.

People often struggle hard to let go, I have often pondered why..what is it that is different in me?

There was a time when I was addicted to movies, television but my duties in home started quite early as per bengali famillies so I just could not afford to watch them even though I longed to.. slowly I won over the addiction. I stopped regretting my inability even the least.

Were these seeds which made me strong inside? as they were sowed in my heart too early… or am I blessed?

There were times when I truly doted after a friend but realized that the feeling is not shared, I never chased that person though I loved him or her dearly. I simply backed off.. a thing which lot of people find next to impossible, people do almost every thing to keep people they like with them. in my case my love doesnot changes, I don’t stop loving them, but I let them walk away without being heart broken.

Why will I bother a person who doesnot shares my feelings?

I have an added blessing, which I really, really adore.. its really tough to make me addicted to any thing for long. There was a time I was addicted to spider solitaire.. it just went away one fine morning. Lately I was worried that I was getting addicted to intent, internet and computer.. durgapuja proved me wrong.

When my computer crashed I realized that I can survive without them happily. I have last logged in intent on 23rd october, and my computer+internet time has sliced down to 8 hours from more than 16 hours earlier.

Is it really that tough to let go? Or we make ourselves weak? Thinking that we cant live without it?

A strange syndrome

Well, I have only one feeling toward politics .. I hate it. in my eyes it’s the greatest business in today’s world which reaps golden harvest without any investment or with the investment of sheer sweet nothings. So I observe the activities of politician completely without interest..

Lately it has started to appear that indian politicians have started to suffer from a clinical condition where the skin of a person becomes extremely thin.

First the incident of shashi tharoor, second the incident of the kerala cop who called rahul gandhi “our friend”.. every thing points towards it. I think rahul gandhi is very sincerely trying to prove it that he wants to bridge the gap between the true citizens of india (people who live in mud walled huts) and the would be prime minister of india. Though just like majority I too don’t like the way he ignores his safety. I have a deep trust that he will turn out to be a good prime minister and most probably he will do something for the deprived people of the country.

Now back to the clinical condition, as I don’t count rahul gandhi among one of my enemies.. I have nothing against the poor cop who called him “friend” I think that showed his sweetness.

Is it our dignity that gets hurt in these incidences or ego?

INTENT.COM

Some experiences become a part of our soul. I stumbled into intent.com looking for some details about actor rahul bose.. and found out a treasure trove.

Intent.com and its bloggers changed my opinion about human beings permanently. Very frankly speaking I have never seen so many unselfish and affectionate persons under the same roof aka in the same website.

Intent server crashed on 23rd September, the day my computer crashed, I have not been able to log in since then..

This durgapuja has brought boons in disguise of irritation.. first I got over my addiction of internet + computer, second I got over my hyper addiction of intent. the intent server is still not up. But when it will I will most probably not log in, because I used to spend 8-10 hours there, which is impossible for me now, because I have sliced down my computer hours to one third and am busy writing stories.

But I have plans of getting broadband connection, then I certainly will be able to squeeze out some time for intent. till then this fabulous site and its priceless people will stay in my heart and soul.

blessings of maturity

Aging is a process which is often looked at with dismay, a feeling of nostalgia. I feel quite the other way round. I think that aging has its own glory, own merits and advantages.

I think we grow more as we age, because it gives us inner strength and calmness. A strength and calmness which is not available when the body is young, beautiful and vibrant with energy. But age too has its own beauty. If we don’t compare our looks with people half our age, or who are as pretty as flower, we will be quite content with our looks. And the lack of physical strength is compensated with inner strength.

The more we grow up properly, the more we learn to live and love life. Accepting life and human beings and their various sides. Knowing the golden truths of world. Thus creating true bliss for ourselves and those around us.

Some simple truth dawn on us with age …….

Like, we cant change the world, we have to change ourselve in harmony to it.

If we want to be truly happy we should make our surroundings happy. Otherwise our happiness wont last long.

If we cant forgive others for petty faults we make ourselve miserable not them. Because we all have faults and get accepted by others, so, if we don’t accept others, they too will refuse us and we will end up lonely and miserable.

The bigger our heart is, the greater chances are that we will live a content life. Because love is what makes the world go round. We may not get the love from the person we loved but sooner or later this tree starts to bear fruit and we get more than we need.

Love and friendship should be cherished like God’s gift. We don’t do a favour by loving someone, people show their beauty by loving us. So we should give it its true honour. This humility will shower more love on us.

Honesty and hard work always pays in the long run. The fruits of dishonesty or robbery are quickly plucked but are tasteless and decay soon.

copycats

These people are those who due to one reason or other copy others. They may not have least talent or interest in that field but they due to some reason of their own cling to that field.

Apparently they are harmless, right? What harm can come if a person copies every thing you do?

Well, for an instance it can irritate you. You may lose the joy which you used to get from wearing that dress when you come out and see that he is wearing the same dress, and same dresses every day.. one of my cousins had this habit, why I don’t know but she used to buy every thing I did.

Then there is another thing about them, which is not common to every one but a large proportion of them, they try to copy you and fail.. because you have talent and they don’t. they shine, may be outshine you for a while but after that their light ebbs away like lamp and yours keeps shining with the steady light of star.

Jealousy creeps in and they try to pull you down trying every method.. finding faults, mocking, trying to misguide you…

When one has talent one should simply follow his own heart and intuitions. Should never let anyone else force him to change his ways.. he can very nonchalantly hear whatever the other has to say and keep if there is any thing worth keeping in his words, or else simply throw it all away.

be responsible

People often say that the things which happen to us are results of our own actions, in this life or past life.

I don’t believe in this, because I have seen evil flourish and virtue perish more than a thousand times. But I believe that when we take the responsibility and consequences of our willing actions with dignity and strength we prove that we are matured.

If we have that strength in ourselves two benefits can be reaped from that, one, we will think ten times before doing any thing which may cause negative impact. Two, we will go to sleep with a peaceful mind, we will know that we committed a mistake and we paid the price. We bore the punishment with dignity, we did not cried or complained or attempted to blame some one else for our own fault. I think it’s a very big victory upon our own weakness, the tendency of disowning our own mistakes.

So my eternal earnest prayer to God is/was to give me the mental strength to be fully responsible for my own, willing actions and accept their consequences, by heart, soul and mind.

Shubho Lakshmipuja!

Shubho Lakshmipuja! May the blessings of the mother shower down on entire human race.

Ma Lakshmi is the hindu goddess of prosperity, luck, peace and almost every thing good for domestic life.

As my dearest brother ibne hanif said, this fantastic diversity of belief of human beings amazes him, it does the same to me too. I truly relish being a Hindu and specially bengali. The only region which gives so much importance to mother goddesses I guess.. its quite a nice feeling…

Bengalis worship ma lakshmi today, the first full moon after durgapuja.

May the mother goddess visit and stay in your home permanently.

Shubho Bijoya

Well, I was planning to share some memories of durgapuja with all of you, and my monitor crashed on 23rd.. the service guy certainly did not showed up, which delayed me by three days to wish you all a shubho bijoya :), which I can do as per bengali system, which allows us to wish shubho bijoya till lakshmi puja, which Is the day after tomorrow. Wish me luck with my new monitor..

May all the blessings of the mother goddess shower down on you all...