Love, trust and respect

People often think that only loving is enough for a long lasting relationship between two people, I don’t know why, but I firmly believe that only love is not enough for a long term relationship, trust and respect should be properly blended with love to give it a permanent colour.

I had a friend of lower middle class she fell in love with a rich guy without knowing it, because that guy was extremely polite and wonderful. But the moment he introduced her to his family she realized her fault, because she could see the difference in their behaviour in case of people of their own status and her. She backed off from the relationship when her lover requested her to adjust with their arrogancy. Every one calls her a fool but she is living a very happy life with a person who respects her and his family has also accepted her with her due honour. i also would have done the same, because I believe that it is better to sit on floor if that is offered with love and respect than on a golden throne without love and respect.

Just like the above case, I have seen a friend of mine who is in love with a guy, who does not trusts her, whenever any thing happens he always takes an difference of opinion from her, is it love? I don’t think so, I think its just a temporary interest. Which will most probably simmer away when it will face the real world. If you cant trust your lover, how can you love her. She is supposed to tell you the truth and you are supposed to have faith on her.

Then I have seen friends who trust each other with their whole heart, they always believe what their friends say or do. They may get hurt in future or may not, but they sure live a completely happy life, in which there are days of mutual trust and faith.

I personally think that its good to trust, respect and love every one who comes in touch with you initially, because it’s a healthy way of initiating any relationship, then in the long run if that person is not worthy of it he or she will lose it by him or herself. You wont have to do any thing. But if you mistrust a person who is trustworthy he will never forgive you, and you will lose a loyal friend.

I always treat people with love, respect and trust when I meet them, for that I am often scolded by my friends and relatives but I ignore them on this account. I usually am proven wrong but still its worth the trouble. If you take people positively then you get at least some thing from every one, a few months of happiness at the minimum, and a good relationship in the maximum. But if I treat every one with suspicion I will end up as a morose person.

And in case of people I like, I always trust and respect them, until and unless they make me change my mind. Then again my mind is always ready to admit my mistake and welcome them back in case I have mistrusted them unreasonably.

Real winners

Life some times throw some interesting questions at us, we often measure the winning of life’s battles by the mean of material wealth, but is it really so? I personally believe that the final treasure which we amass is in our soul, not in our home, and the former treasure is root of all the happiness in world.

I have a friend, he is a very honest guy, honest means those copy book honest, who believe in living an honest life and in protesting wrong things. He lives in a remote town, he tried to stop some illegal things being done in his town by some hot shots backed by political leaders. As a result, they tried to crush him down from every angle, they used to threat him, scandalize him, a couple of time physically abused him, in one word, they tried to make his life a perfect hell, he had to leave the town and settle outside west Bengal to earn is living. But still he protests when he sees some thing wrong, whereas his tormentors often boast that if some one dares to protest them his condition will be like him. But I personally feel that they know that they have lost the battle, their only small win is making that guy leave the town, their boasting is bleak and groundless, because they might have called themselves conquerors if that guy had bowed down before them and accepted their corrupted activities without protest.

I have a deep belief in the old saying, that honesty pays. In the long run, it’s the honest people who are happy and satisfied. They may get exploited, bulldozed, hounded, but the amount of satisfaction and inner peace they get is worth the trouble. And I also have started to believe another thing that honest people are most scandalized.

Meeks rule the world

Bible says meeks inherit the earth, I too believe it now. I have already shared my experience about the friend who left his own home but did not surrendered to evil. The second example is also a friend, this time girl friend, she is a very sweet natured lady, as a result she has been extremely exploited by her own siblings. She stayed single, a little by choice and a little due to circumstances. I have not seen weird people like her siblings.

They have saved a huge amount of money by using her as a free of cost maid.
It will seem as if they had it planned for years that they wont let her pursue any career, nor will they let her get married so they could utilize her toils free of cost. After exploiting her for years they have not been able to make her miserable, despite all the exploitation she has faced, she is gentle, god loving and happy go lucky person, whereas her siblings after usurping her rightful property are forever yearning for more money and live a miserable life. Full of bickering and clashes among themselves and others around them.

These two examples have taught me two things, first is money, no matter how little it is, if it is earned by honest means it gives the greatest satisfaction. Whereas people who earn money by stealing, cheating or other means, they may amass a wealth but they never enjoy it, because they do these things out of nature, and that restless nature never lets them enjoy any thing.

That is why I think people who know the true meaning of happiness don’t haunt for greener pastures, they stay content with their present.

disappearing laughter

If we notice we will see, how this virtue is disappearing from the society, I believe the main reason behind it are smile snubbers. They are a hefty portion of the society.. the people who are either unhappy or grumpy, so they love to play the role of smile snubbers. Whenever they see some one happy or in a light mood they think that its their divine duty to rectify that fault and they mostly successfully do it. Snub the smile away from the lips before it turns into a laughter.

You will usually find them in every place, if you are born with smiling lips like me, and trying your level best to copy others who are successful at suppressing it. They are abundant in office, in buses in parks every where. They are huge in number. They have one common symptom, they think life is too serious to enjoy. Enjoying life is immatured. In the eyes of these souls life is either a torment, or a grave duty which they have to perform. I was once of a very silly nature, that is, till seven or eight years ago I used to laugh too much, hence I have faced the wrath of this species too much. They finally succeeded into teaching me some manners, but I am not even the least grateful.

They sometimes take extra care to perform their duties, back in teenage days, once I was traveling in bus with a classmate of mine, we both were equally crazy, one look at each other and we used to go rolling thinking about all the mischief we have done together. But it was never directed at anyone, our laughters were pure, without any reason, or due to harmless reasons. We did not got seats so we were standing side by side after spending a day in school. All of a sudden she started to giggle and before I realized I too started to giggle, and every time one of us was trying to control oneself the other’s giggle was breaking her vow, all of a sudden a girl sitting in front of us started to quarrel with us, blaming that we were laughing at her, we tried in vain to make her believe that we were not laughing at her, but she quarreled with great vehemence for the next forty five minutes we were in the bus together. That time, well, her snubbing did not work, because the more she was quarrelling the more we were laughing. But with maturity and age now these snubbing usually work.

Mostly these people are abundant in office, they don’t like people enjoying their life, and take care that others don’t enjoy theirs too. Especially if that person is in their hold, that is, their junior. They try to snub out that spirit by over burdening them with work, snapping at them without reason or hundred other pretexts. To them work is a grim thing, it cant go side by side with a grin. It has to be done with the expression of a surgeon doing an autopsy.

Whereas when I was a child I have seen that my father’s friends or even seniors did not minded laughing together, they were far more jollier than the people of that age group of present age. When they used to laugh or my aunties used to laugh we could hear it from far and wide, and we used to hear it very often, and it sounded really sweet.

I have often heard from my professional friends that they don’t laugh in office because its not smart to laugh in office, they don’t speak affectionately to colleagues because its not liked and so on. They are not wrong, these things do create a lot of unnecessary problem in most of the offices, specially if that office has high political level.

I have heard smile snubbers giving strange excuse for their behaviour like being so friendly is immatured, being so trusting is foolish, laughing so much is childish, hence its their moral duty to make that person of suspicious, grumpy and morose nature. I have faced too many of these people, some are rude and some diplomatic. Like I once heard from one of my bosses that one cant enjoy his work. Period. She sounded final, so I did not opened my mouth, but did not agreed with them. These people are safer. They don’t poison your mind. They try to bully you, but no one can read your mind, so you are safe. I really don’t like the second category, these people, if they say a group is enjoying, or two people are too happy together they poison it, very tactfully they create walls or sow the seed of suspicion, and usually they succeed.

But the sad part is If we continue moving this way to emotional mechanisation we sure will have to inject ourselves for laughter in a couple of years, even laughing clubs wont be able to do their jobs.

So lets fight these smile snubbers, and laugh more. To ward them and the energy vampires off. After all, if majority of us practice laughing and smiling, limited number of smile snubbers and energy vampires will run away or join.