relishing solitude

People often get scared by this thought, spending time with oneself. But if we think thoroughly, is there any ONE person in this world who is absolutely out of human touch? Unless he lives in some god forbidden place... without electricity, cell phone towers etc etc :)

We always have so many things around us which keep us directly or indirectly connected to others..phone, television, radio, internet, books, movies…. We are never deprived of human connection "absolutely" are we?

I am not asking anyone to confine himself or herself to rooms and live a lonely life against will... like monks. I wanted to say that in today’s busy world if we are forced to a life for a while where we don’t have much company or no company at all.. then enjoy that solitude.

People of younger age are more vulnerable to this feeling, I too have been once. I lived away for a year in a state which had nothing common with west bengal, and only five relatives. So I used to spend my free time roaming around the roads in my sunny or licking the brain of a tenant of the same house... now when i look back i really feel embarassed of myself. But the circumstances of next few years taught me invaluable lessons in solitude, it made me a better and more composed human being. More adjusting and forgiving.

As I slowly made a habit of staying alone, I saw people will raise their eyebrow in both cases (craving for human companionship or being nonchalant to it) and pass remarks, but in the second condition, that is my present way of life, I will have full control on my time, my life and I will never feel like a fool when I will look back at it... the last point counts a lot to me :)

I utilize my time with myself by listening to music, writing, reading or working. There are too many productive hobbies we can take up. But I always take up a hobby to enjoy, not to toil on. They always leave me refreshed, looking forward to do it again. We should always select hobbies which wil leave us a better person, and enhance our capacity as a human being.

If we start to love ourselves and our own company it will fill our arms up with a lot of positive things..
one, we will be able to survive without depending on any outer source for happiness
two, we may save our necks (and dignity) from time to time for not being part of some gossip.. :)
three, people will welcome us if we visit them, in place of making excuses like "i was just going out to see.." they will grin and welcome us.
four, we will be able to do something with our time which will make us really smug..
five, in today's internet savvy era we can share all our feelings with our close friends instantly without bothering them.

but we should always keep some time to meet our friends too, so that the friendship doesnot vanishes.

hocus pocus

We do give in to soothsayers and doomsayers when the chips are down, don’t we? And they make such an easy scapegoat of our feelings, money and life.

Been there done that, that is why I tell every one, read them but don’t believe them. You can toy with the ideas or suggestions but don’t follow them blindly.

One of them deliberately tried to misguide me following the instructions of someone. But I somehow sensed his lies because he said some absolutely false things about my past, so, I clearly realized that if a person cant tell me my past (which I can do after reading a few palmestry books) then its but natural that he wont be knowing my future (which I cant tell, even after reading those books and trying).

I have read too many stories like that, where people have been deliberately misguided by soothsayers. So before you blindly follow them just think..

Is it possible that thousands of people who are born at the same second through out the world have exactly the same fate? Come on!!!

Is it possible by just reading your palms to pin point your future? Then why don’t these people read their own palms and become millionaires? Or prevent accidental deaths? Or warn against terrorist attacks?

If these things were really possible they would have been hired by forces.

holy season

Wish you all the blessings of God.

benebou

There were three massive mango trees beside our pond back in my ancestral home. Which were later chopped down by my sibling in his deforestation mania.. no he doesnot bothers about life or objections of others.

When I returned to burdwan after spending almost four years in delhi (a place where you wont even hear crows..) I landed in pure heaven. An old two storeyed house with a pond and garden. Full of flowers and birds.

My bedroom was in the first floor, the branches of one of the mango trees touched my window bars.. within one month my love with nature and its creatures started and that will stay with me as long as I breathe.

One day I was sitting beside my window when I heard an extremely sweet bird call, it clearly sounded like “ekti khoka hok” that means “may you have a baby boy”, I jumped out of the bed to locate the bird and did located him, what a beauty he was… I am enclosing his pic to show you. Dazzling yellow and black. He has two distinctive calls one I described above and the other is “O benebou” that means “hey goldsmith’s wife”. Well, its just co incidence that their calls sound like two bengali sentences but they do.

Well in case of this bird it was love at first sight, which is still there.. their gorgeous looks and equally gorgeous voice.

I have seen a couple here, near my home, but the funny part is back at my ancestral home it was next to impossible to see them, they are very shy birds.. and always hide themselves in leaves but the two I saw in kolkata are extremely brave, I even saw them sitting on a wall near my home.. but their call and looks is by no means inferior.. hope they will visit me next spring again. Their call is heard only during early spring, spring and early summer. Rest of the time they don’t call.

My constant companion is koyel or kokil, I have observed they sing through out the year and often I have heard them singing in moonlit nights. I used to relish teasing them when I was ahem, even in my early thirties.. now I think its not very nice to tease these sweethearts.

If you mimic them they will keep calling, and after a while will get really angry.. I used to mimic them to hear them. It was so lovely to hear them calling to defeat their rival.

Welcome visitor

Well, yesterday morning something jolted me out of my sleep at five fifteen and I have never been so happy in my life. Usually its my landlords or their tiny grandson jolt me out of sleep but yesterday’s intruder to my dreamland was not them, for a change he was blessed from heart. A bird, pouring down a cascade of music in my ears.. he transported me back to months of blissfull ecstassy… time which wont be back but relished then and now, not actually missed.

There was an old mango tree just outside my window, it was a wonderful heaven for birds, I have seen so many types of birds there … three favourites were koyal, doyel and benebou. First two for their songs and third one for its dazzling beauty.

Koyels simply sing but when doyels sing they pour down a cascade of music, that’s the only way of describing their music. Only those who have heard them will realize the truth of these words.

Back at my ancestral home it was the job of these tiny beings to wake me up at 4 a.m., yes mysteriously they were almost punctual.. they used to sing filling up their tiny hearts and mine for a long time. Yesterday it happened after years, a brother of theirs woke me up in kolkata.. just believe IN KOLKATA, I blessed him with all my heart and soul. I have seen a female around, so I would have assumed that her mate is also around but the knowledge dawned after hearing him.

wind stealers...

These are the people who come across us time to time, especially if we shine in some field.. let it be any field.. human affection, popularity or some other talent. They often come to us and mostly they try to misguide us, away from our talents.

I will just put up one instant, well, yes its about my favourite radio program which just got off air from this week. This will give you a clear insight about how wind stealers work.

This guy created a magic, a wonderful magic of a rare feeling these days.. earnest friendship. Yes, yes I know what you will say, how can a rj be a friend of his listeners, well, I too thought that before I heard him, and after hearing him I knew that he can, if he is a genuine human being and earnest.

So, he created an invaluable bonding of friendship with us, his listeners. I never called him up but have sent him mails and smses. But I used to hear the way people poured out their heart to him. It was truly a moving experience. Tben slowly very rare wolves started to howl.. that they are bored with “friendship” which is the main theme of the program and I noted how they acted like slow poison. slowly ruining the spirit and flow of the rj. Though his admirers kept on repeating that they love his program but their voice was soft like summer rain, true but far weaker than the occassional howls of the wolves.

I have noted a few things about these people:

One, they are not blind with jealousy, they will observe you keenly for a long spell of time and then befriend you. Pretending as a great admirer or fan.

Two, once they have pulled down your barrier they will try to misguide you to a path away from your talent.

Three, if they fail in that they will start to criticise your talent by finding faults in them or making up faults in them.

Four, if they can, they will spoil your mood of creations through 101 methods, for example if he sits in next chamber he will visit your cubicle right when you are about to start your new project and keep you busy till you lose the spirit.

For the first take on these people this is enough I guess, may be I will add up or write another fresh one later. But beware of these people, being very intelligent and cunning they have a way of having their way. Its better to stay away from them.

A person once gave me a million dollar suggestion.. he said that only weak people or people craving for attention, compliment entertain these people and ruin themselves or their talents.

Kazi Nazrul Islam

Kazi Nazrul Islam(1898-1976):

Kazi Nazrul Islam was born on the 25th May 1898 at Churulia in the district of Burdwan, West Bengal, India.

The poet died at Dhaka, capital of Bangladesh as National poet on the 29th August 1976.

Well, during my growing age I did not liked his poetry, because I thought that he mixed urdu, farsi words freely with sanskrit and bengali words. Now, he has changed to my second favourite poet after tagore.

When I listen to his poems my eyes moisten just to think how the divide between hindu and muslim has been created in india in post independence era. Here is a kazi, who married a brahmin widow and writes that I will sing a song of krishna sitting in the laps of mother goddess kali. His poems are a strong blending of hindu and muslim cultures and his noble soul.

I have a collection of his recitations and I just love them one and all, I have listened to them atleast five hundred times and wont mind listening another five hundred times. There are some recitations I cant resist myself from repeating end to end. May be someday I will translate and share them so you can understand the meaning but what about the magic which he created by blending of urdu and sanskrit?

africa

The dark continent.. it was called for ages. A continent which has been ruthlessly abused by human civilisation.

A continent which has greatest diamond mines, most fantastic wildlife and a rich cultural heritage literally lives on alms of the rest of the world.

Thousands of children and pregnant mothers perish because of too much poverty. They still go to untrained village nurses instead of modern medical facilities either because of poverty or because of lack of education. Another darkness closely related with poverty.

It was sheer misfortune of this continent to be sucked in the slavery, that most probably stopped all the growths thereafter. I am not an expert but somehow I think that must be the reason. Each and every able bodied man and woman was used as a slave for centuries, the shoulders which build countries were slaving away. The remaining just survived.

Their resources were used by others and they were slaves even in their own countries. Naturally their economy crashed when these people left the rule in their hands and they become busy in squabbling among themselves.. one bloody war after war ravaged them.

Then the menace of AIDS gripped it as the latest blow. It will be really very tough job if their own people don’t wake up and pull themselves up like their asian counterparts have done.

In today’s violence torn world people are so busy saving their own homes that they are slowly losing the tendency to go out and help others.

Wake up Africa before its too late, and rest of the world, please cast a glance at them.

Weird ways

I love music, so its but natural that I would have started to listen to FM stations instantly, and I did.

As far as I gathered, they are professional, who run these stations for only money.. I wonder what was their idea behind closing a really popular program if it has not something to do with cupid (the rj getting married)… I have witnessed it twice, I was simply amused first time and this time I am aghast.. I mean it.

I used to stay up till 12 every night to listen to rehan’s lamhe, he made a wonderful combination of his magical voice, urdu shayari and selected old songs, then the nose poking occurred and I noticed that his old songs were replaced by new numbers. I listened to him even then, because he was a fabulous RJ but finally they stopped the program even though I saw orkut forums pining for the program.

Then I got hooked to amit’s tomake chai, he is another magician, creating an invaluable bonding with his listeners. First they stopped his interatction with listeners, that was a big damage to the program, because somewhere down the line he has become our real life friend, then they have stopped the program. I can think of only one forgivable reason, that is, he is getting married, or else they have done an unforgivable crime by ending his program. I sincerely hope we get him back in some other slot, or else… I know a lot of his friends will join my sadness.

a part of me says that i will send my pet to talk with them, his pic is enclosed herewith...

true friends

True friends are really rare these days, we have become so engrossed in pursuing our hectic lifestyles that we are sure losing this thing. We have colleagues, we have co passengers, we have booze buddies, we have neighbours and of course relatives. But do we have true friends? One of those people which our parents had till the last day of their life, or we had when we were in college? Who used to laugh with us when we laughed, cry with us when we cried and helped us to bunk the class and go out with our beloved? We knew our friends will always be there when the professor will scold us, he wont even try to be on his good book, or smirk at our humilliation. He will stand like a rock, his face showing as if he was also being scolded with us? I guess not, we have left that person back in college if we have moved out of our hometown and settled to some place other. Even if they are around, then too, that bonding is replaced with priorities at both ends. Some one is more involved with life, some one with love, some one with family and some one with career.

Our generation is a weird generation, our parents had bossom friends even at the ripe old age, but most of us have lost close friends ever since we left college. Those days, when we used to chat our heads off with a person, who used to listen to each and every word we spoke, and used to chat crazily in return having us as apt listener have been lost long ago.

I last had such a friend in 1996, after joining my first job. She was my last bossom friend but she was not of professional mindset, she got married within three months of joining the job and left india. Even though I have found a few good friends after that, but she was my last real life bossom body.

In contrast to common belief I have found some really good friends in internet, but in real life, they are rare. People say that net friends cant be trusted but my experience is different, I have found so many good friends via internet that it has taught me what real, unselfish friendship is. These friends trusted me, guided me, humored me and showered me with fabulous emails, brightening up my days. In the course of last four year or so I have picked up diamond after diamond on net. One of them is still in my life as a one of his own kind friend. Even though he doesnot believes it but his heart and character is made of pure gold. I have never seen such a person in my entire life. With such pure character and stable friendship.

In a pleasant turn of life this year has filled up my arms with the very best friends that can exist in this world. Now i have stopped counting their numbers. My time is fully occupied with them.

The reason behind our not having flesh and blood friends is most probably our lack of faith in colleagues. As most of us relocate for job, like I have, we leave our college friends behind, and are too busy to make friends outside our office circle. So, we console ourselves with the superficial workplace friendships, where we have to watch our words, or else they may cost our jobs. That is one of the reason people cant be intimate with colleagues, because it may cost his or her career.

I don’t know about other people like me, who are completely engrossed in career life, and are as tactless as me, if they can always keep a watch on their tongue when they are out in the office. I cant so I end up regretting often mistaking a colleague as a friend, and miss those friends with whom I could be dead confident that I can say or do any thing.

The other drawback of office friends is when you change job mostly you lose them because they are too busy to keep contact with you. I have come in touch with some fabulous colleagues and have tried to maintain the contact with them, but all of them have drifted apart, and I have maintained my policy of life, the door of my heart is forever open to my friends, they can come and go at any time. They will never find some one locking or blocking their path.

facebook etc

A group of my friends continuously ask me if I have an id in facebook, orkut, twitter or skype. I have an id in orkut but I don’t use it, because after using msn live for two years I have realized that I am not interested in social networking sites (they bore me to death). Where anyone /everyone can leave a message for you.

Being a polite person I don’t feel good snubbing people (some of them really invite it), so I prefer to keep distance from such sites, because as a sincere person I only prefer steady, reliable relationships. Hence its better to not open an id is my take on the subject, why keep a window open when I know a cat will slink in.

So, I keep away from these sites completely. Have not even thought about opening any account or using the orkut account after a short spell of using it, in 2008 I guess.

Why do my friends one after one ask me to join specially facebook? Well, all my friends know that I am very reserved, so they cant misunderstand my preferences, that’s for sure and people tell me that mostly the current generation uses facebook, so I can understand the crowd and their preferences. I was just mystified to know why people ask me to join these sites. Will be glad to get some information from you, is there some special feature I am missing out or they just want to keep all their friends at the same place.

I personally am quite content with my email id and wordpress plus blogspot blogs. I have opened a few more blogs but don’t even use them any more, because the bloggers in those blogs don’t interact among each other.

poaching

Even a few years back my blood used to boil whenever I read this word…”poaching”. Being an animal lover to the core, who doesnot hates any animal, it was really impossible for me to understand why they do it. how could they kill a beautiful creature just for fun or money.

Then I started to follow the programs on discovery and my anger turned to pity. These people usually don’t get two times square meal. Some of them put their own lives to risk for the money.

Now, as my anger on them went away, next question which came was how should it be stopped. There is only one way, we have to make these people aware, how they are ruining the earth by killing these creatures. How selfish it is to kill a creature without any ecological reason.

Once that sense is hammered in them, they should be provided alternate income, which will have to be pro forest, wildlife. A livelihood which will make them love forests and wild animals.

The next thing which the government will have to control is friction between wildlife and human beings. One of the reasons behind killing of wild animals. Animals don’t encroach in cities, human beings encroach in forests for their livelihood or greed.

Those who do it for greed or fun, should be strictly punished. We cant afford to further experiment with wildlife.

Trolls

I know I might have ignored this little gesture but I can’t. I somehow think it is my moral duty toward my readers; quite a lot of them have become my close friends. Please read the things written below carefully. Don’t brush them away casually.

In my long span of blogging i have met all type of people marvelous friends and trolls and people in-between who dwell the cyber world.

Unfortunately some trolls did not like the things I wrote in MSN, I have written in their user’s contribution section for almost two years. My writings were simply words from heart, before writing there I never even guessed people can become so abusive to those who write against their views.

These trolls started to cyber-stalk me from then on. I still receive their mails (After two years since I stopped writing in MSN) in my email ids. Extremely abusive and sometimes really perverted mails. Some regular writers are Shruti Brij, Shri, Vasundhara and Ria but as you know they must be fake names. But that does not +8makes their intentions less heinous so don’t take them lightly.

They are not innocent babies, their behaviour is on the brink of criminal activities, they used to regularly bother me , posting dirty (extremely) comments on my blogs, abusive comments and mails, insane rantings were daily affair. As a result I had to stop using my windows live blog because it did not gave the option of moderation then.

WORST PART IS/WAS FIRST THEY USED MY BLOG NAMES, AFTER SLIGHTLY MODIFYING THEM OR OPENING THE SAME BLOGS UNDER OTHER WEBSITES. Then they started to contact my readers with great gusto from those ids or blogs, sharing all the articles I have written in which there is/was some thing which might brush someone in a wrong way. (I should meekly say that I am straight-forward, too straight-forward for my own sake, so I have sometimes written clear cut truth without any sweetness, that much I can assure you).

Say for example, they will forward all my articles showing sympathy to Palestine or Iraq to Hindu fanatics or some articles in which I have said something really harsh. It seemed their sole intention was to drag the name of my blogs in their insane ranting or blacklist them to as many people as possible.

As I wrote under three pseudonyms (apart from my own name) I got some of them myself, that’s why I knew that they were not normal bullies who harass only the writer by posting sick comments on blogs, they had more things in their sleeves.

Can’t deny they won the war, I stopped writing in MSN and using Windows Live blogs even though I was pampered to no end by the editing section of MSN. I stick to Wordpress specifically because it gives me the IP Address of the people who post comments. Somehow I have a deep guts feeling that they will be linked to ONE SINGLE OFFICE. So they and other mischief makers don’t visit Wordpress much.

They are the main reason why i always keep my friends informed about the blog sites i am using/not using. I hope my friends won’t ignore these words.

I don’t want them to be fooled by any troll or favour-seeker using my name. i recently even deleted a remote desktop connection file from my computer. I got suspicious because one of my readers was writing my unpublished poems after brushing them up, so I asked my blog friends how can that be possible! A friend generously told me that its impossible unless someone is connecting your computer via remote access, so I searched for Remote Access software in the computer, got one, googled it and google said “Either you or someone else is remote accessing your computer.” I deleted it. My monitor crashed (they might have been coincidence but that’s what happened) … As I am not a talented writer I believe someone was hacking my connection for some other purpose. Using those poems was most probably sign of over confidence. Or may be he/she must have thought I wont be able to solve the problem.

So… I WILL SINCERELY HOPE THAT YOU WILL KEEP MY ABOVE WORDS IN MIND. There is another thing I will like to share with you apart from the above:

I DON’T USE MY BLOGS FOR BUSINESS , ITS ONLY PLEASURE, UTILISING MY TIME AND UPGRADING MY WRITING. I WILL NEVER ASK ANY ONE ANY KIND OF FAVOURS- CLICK ON AD, DONATION, AND HELP- NOTHING. IF SOME ONE SEEKS SOME FAVOUR FROM YOU THAT WILL NOT BE ME.

I JUST WANTED MY FRIENDS/ READERS TO KNOW THAT I DONT USE FACEBOOK, ORKUT, TWITTER, SKYPE. IF SOMEONE WANTS TO CONTACT ME HE/SHE CAN USE ANY OF THESE. LATELY I HAVE BECOME REALLY LAZY ABOUT MY EMAIL ID, I CHECK IT ONCE IN A BLUE MOON.

The blogs I regularly update are:
mydomainpvt.wordpress.com; magicthought.wordpress.com; suryagni.blogspot.com; agnitrisha.blogspot.com; suryakana.blogspot.com

SHARMISHTHA BASU
(16.08.2010)