A little good news

I love this song by Anne Murray, “A little good news”, I wont go ahead to recite it word by word, the inner meaning of this song in gist is she will be very happy to see one fine day that no newspaper has any thing sad to publish, or no TV channel has any thing sad to broadcast, in place of that they are broadcasting all the parties in the town. What a blessed day that will be! I know you are also agreeing with me.

I know it’s the duty of the media to show us the truth, but is it necessary that it would be shown in such a horrifying manner, unnecessarily? I don’t know how many of you will agree with me, but those of you who are sensitive and have respect for life will agree that it sends a chill down our spine and screws up a long portion of our day when we see on the front page or any page blood smeared lifeless bodies, its irrelevant whether it belongs to human or animals.

If the idea is to deliver the news, that can be done without these horrible displays, and if they want to spread some message against violence, that can be done by words instead of gory illustrations. It doesnot makes one detest violence, it makes one habituated with it.

Will I be too wrong if I assume that its done because we have ceased to care for life? So many time we are forced to pass by dying people on pavements not because we are heartless but because we are extremely busy with earning our own bread. The same mindset is reflected in media, all they concentrate on is catching attention, doing their job. I have seen my father reading newspaper while eating but I never touch the newspaper before bracing myself up, or switch on the tv news when I am having dinner or breakfast or enjoying myself.

I know truth is often harsh, but the question which arises in my mind, after getting almost daily dose of my shock, is it really necessary to present these in such a harsh manner? I don’t know why, but I somehow feel that it is disrespect to the departed soul and torment to us.

We, who already have enough friction and turbulence in our personal life to make us distressed. These open display of morbidity only changes that distress to gloominess.

In the end, I too really would love to see a day like Anne Murray when no news media will have any thing sad to show, all they will have to do is spread a little happy thoughts.

Children not so lucky

Every alternate day we are served the story of brutality against children employed in various jobs despite child labour being banned in our country.

These tiny ones are sent out by their famillies because they don’t have much choice, but the famillies which take them in as workers or servants have a choice, even though they are doing illegal thing, but that sin can be rinsed by treating them with kindness and affection. And if possible educate them a little.

I have never been able to gauge these people, because I have been brought up in a family where we did not had any child servants, but the adults were always treated with respect.

I have only once appointed a child maid, then it was not illegal. That girl was always treated with gentleness, she was spared from heavy work even after repeated insistence from her mother. She did not walked out of Hindi movies, she was just like any child, greedy of glittery things, she used to drain cold drinks from refrigerator and replace it with water, gobble up any thing which lured her child tongue. Used to nag my mother to watch Govinda’s movies. My mother used to stick to discovery channel, and they both used to complain to us after our return from office. She used to fill up her squirrel box (of course without our knowledge) with my artificial jewelleries and music cassettes. She has been caught at the act too many times but did not changed her ways.

When dinner was served she used to get the first plate. When my mother used to hand out delicacies, she was the one who used to get maximum in number, because rest of us have lost interest in those goodies with age. That girl was nothing exceptional she also used to lie, steal and do mischief, but was always treated with this thing in mind that she had to leave her parents at an age when our children see darkness if their parents go somewhere for an evening. She became so attached to us that in the later stages she used to weep when her mother used to come to take her, and cried a lot to accompany us when we shifted to Calcutta.

Even though child labour has been banned, appointing a child as servant is illegal, still people who do it, they can atleast treat these children properly. Give them a little affection and gentleness, so that the things which their poverty has deprived them from, we being fellow human beings, give back to them a little. As human being, we can atleast show this much conscience, treat these helpless, shelterless small things with some love and tenderness.

Whenever I read these news, which I am really ashamed to say too often, my heart fills up with anguish, the stories of battering of children in the hands of their employers. Are these people human being or some thing else? Mostly these are family people, educated people, who have their own children, grand children they dote upon. Then how can they treat another child, who is so unfortunate that he/ she has to leave his parents at such tender age and move out to face the world on their own so cruelly?

People say that a woman is a natural mother, these mothers pamper their own children to no end, whereas a child, who is usually of the same age is beaten up for small mischief or faults. These persons usually get away with their inhumanity because we Indians are a strange community. We join rallies against child labours then appoint children as servants back at home, because they eat less, cost less and bear most tortures mutely.

Children

Nine months full of dreams and anticipations… then they arrive, tiny bundles of joy. Every thing about them is just fabulous. Tiny feet, tiny hands, tiny toes.. they are just perfect!

Then what goes wrong? Why do parent start to give more importance to their career than the children themselves? I have often seen parents crazy about their children’s performance, hurting them, abusing them to no end. Making their life a nightmare.

They try to make their 3 year old memorise all the poems in the book because they have to prove that she is smart, she must know the answer to all the questions of her book and if possible some more. These small ones drag their days from school to tution and back home for some more studies.

Its true that in today’s competitive environment studying is important, but trying to make Einstein out of Master X is too much. And when Master X comes to know that he cant meet his parents ever increasing demands he starts to lie, to save himself, slowly it becomes habit. Some times this pressure makes the life of these children so miserable that they take wrong decisions like ending their life or run away, which often results ending up in the hand of traffickers.

The only question which arises in my mind is, is the career bigger than the child you have brought into the earth? You were so eagerly waiting for his or her arrival, dreaming, loving him or her before she came to the earth. Then when did the paper became more important than the live being God has placed in your hand as Her greatest gift, those tiny hands which reach out at you thinking you are next to God? If every one was Einstein, then no one would have remembered him. Just like that, every one does not have the capacity of becoming megastars. So, why don’t these parents treat their children as human beings and give them their best, instead of expecting the best from them?

Children are wonderful … they are universally wonderful. A child is never born bad, it’s the way he/she is brought up determines his life’s path. Fault lies in the parents, not in children.

I personally feel that people who have a child in their life, a child they can love, cherish and bring up are extremely lucky. So they should not waste this chance of showering their affection by chasing the golden deer, the golden deer of realizing their dreams through some one who might not have the capacities or inclination for realising that dream. Whenever they will think that their child is inferior than some prodigy, they should think about people who never had a child.

They should bring up these little angels with tenderness and affection. They should be shown the path which they are capable of following and handling, guided not goaded.

A ghost story

My ancestral home is in a remote village, where electricity has reached only a couple of years ago. My ancestors were jamindars of that village and a few adjoining villages. Our home is just beside Damodar river, its partially in ruins and a small portion, which was earlier the courtroom of my ancestors is still in good condition, where we used to go every durga puja and kali puja.

During durga puja the place is full of people, we take generators with us and the entire place is lighted up, but during the kali puja the place is exactly the opposite. There are very few people there, only a very limited no of villagers who have the energy of attending the full night affair and a couple of family member. At the max seven or eight people, including the family members stay there through out the night and another half a dozen who are indispensable part of the Puja.

There are two seats, one seat on either side of our main entrance, seats which play the role of musical chair during the puja, but were free for all now. One of the seat faces and the other had its back towards a bedi, where our ancestors have performed tantrik rituals and one of them even got siddhi. According to the villagers our ancestral home is safe for the people of our family, but outsiders often meet a lady dressed in white colured, red bordered saree, who disappears all of a sudden. She is seen especially if some one commits some mischief there. That is why the place is deserted at night.

That year I went there with my uncle and my brother. I attended the puja but when the animal sacrifice started I left the puja mandap. I had the idea of lying down on the verandah of our house, to give myself a break after fasting the entire day, it was almost 3 AM in the morning, I was lying there exhausted when all of a sudden I heard sounds coming from inside the locked room. As if some one was banging the furnitures with a stick or some thing like that, a chill ran down my spine and I bolted from there, I went outside to sit on that seat, which had its back to the bedi. Actually I was thinking of lying down, when all of a sudden I heard a sound like some one has dropped some thing, right behind my back, I slowly turned back and saw nothing. I was weak from fasting the entire day, it was almost 3:30 in the morning, and I prayed that I heard it wrong, but then it was repeated again, then I went to the seat of the opposite side facing the bedi, to know what’s going on before bolting again.

Then to my utter amusement and relief I saw that the people of Burdwan were celebrating the diwali, and the sound of their cracker was reaching our small village after crossing damodar and its sand bank like nothing is in between.

A lifetime experience

Six years earlier I was a small town resident, all who had her share of monsoon misery was getting wet on the road that too occasionally. Never had any other problem, because once after hitting home we knew we were warm and safe.

Things changed after shifting to kolkata, in 2005 I was in Khardaha, outer Calcutta. That year gave me first hint about kolkata’s rainy day blues. I was informed after a downpour of two days that the trainlines are submerged, all I did that took a leave for three days. Last year and this year showed me the hell people of some areas in Calcutta go through year after year. No, its not a single year story, when Calcutta has faced abnormal rainfall. Its their every year story, even when the monsoon is normal. They know that they will have to wake up in the middle of night to see that their rooms are filled up with water.

Let me share my own experience to give a little view about their suffering, we changed our accomodations in 2006, when we landed in that house, no body told us any thing about horrible water logging which is that area’s monsoon woe. The agent was only interested in his commission, and the landlady and her family were sweet talking devils, I am yet to see another family so cunning, so corrupted, yet so sweet talking. Hence they too did not bothered about giving us the least hint. One fine night I woke up at midnight for a glass of water and when I stepped in the passage I felt water touching my feet, I turned on the light to see atleast 4 inches of water. And my adjoining room where my brother sleeps was six inches under water. My room was spared because it’s a little higher.

Next year, water logging started with the very first spell. Every day when I went back from office I used to see the rooms filled up with water which I had to drain out with buckets, no cooperation from landlords, who simply pointed their finger at their invisible mother/mother in law, (who was at that time living in Khardaha with her sister, quite a coincidence but we never saw them before landing in their clutches).

Then when I used to wake up in the morning I used to get welcomed by the rooms which I have cleaned up the earlier night filled up with water. Lovely way of passing time after returning home working entire day, was not it? And that too after paying 3000 rupees per month as rent, which is quite high as per kolkata.

Added pleasure was my office area was also infamous for water logging. Now when I am in a proper house I look back at that time with a light heart, but at that time Phew!!!

In gist I used to come out of the office and walk kilometres to reach bus, in knee deep water, praying to God for my dear life. Then travel through a packed bus for almost two hours and again land in knee deep water wade another few hundred meters and voila!! A house under six inches water waiting for me.

This says how polite people are always abused. If it would have happened anywhere outside kolkata, it would have happened only once.. one year.

Love, trust and respect

People often think that only loving is enough for a long lasting relationship between two people, I don’t know why, but I firmly believe that only love is not enough for a long term relationship, trust and respect should be properly blended with love to give it a permanent colour.

I had a friend of lower middle class she fell in love with a rich guy without knowing it, because that guy was extremely polite and wonderful. But the moment he introduced her to his family she realized her fault, because she could see the difference in their behaviour in case of people of their own status and her. She backed off from the relationship when her lover requested her to adjust with their arrogancy. Every one calls her a fool but she is living a very happy life with a person who respects her and his family has also accepted her with her due honour. i also would have done the same, because I believe that it is better to sit on floor if that is offered with love and respect than on a golden throne without love and respect.

Just like the above case, I have seen a friend of mine who is in love with a guy, who does not trusts her, whenever any thing happens he always takes an difference of opinion from her, is it love? I don’t think so, I think its just a temporary interest. Which will most probably simmer away when it will face the real world. If you cant trust your lover, how can you love her. She is supposed to tell you the truth and you are supposed to have faith on her.

Then I have seen friends who trust each other with their whole heart, they always believe what their friends say or do. They may get hurt in future or may not, but they sure live a completely happy life, in which there are days of mutual trust and faith.

I personally think that its good to trust, respect and love every one who comes in touch with you initially, because it’s a healthy way of initiating any relationship, then in the long run if that person is not worthy of it he or she will lose it by him or herself. You wont have to do any thing. But if you mistrust a person who is trustworthy he will never forgive you, and you will lose a loyal friend.

I always treat people with love, respect and trust when I meet them, for that I am often scolded by my friends and relatives but I ignore them on this account. I usually am proven wrong but still its worth the trouble. If you take people positively then you get at least some thing from every one, a few months of happiness at the minimum, and a good relationship in the maximum. But if I treat every one with suspicion I will end up as a morose person.

And in case of people I like, I always trust and respect them, until and unless they make me change my mind. Then again my mind is always ready to admit my mistake and welcome them back in case I have mistrusted them unreasonably.

Real winners

Life some times throw some interesting questions at us, we often measure the winning of life’s battles by the mean of material wealth, but is it really so? I personally believe that the final treasure which we amass is in our soul, not in our home, and the former treasure is root of all the happiness in world.

I have a friend, he is a very honest guy, honest means those copy book honest, who believe in living an honest life and in protesting wrong things. He lives in a remote town, he tried to stop some illegal things being done in his town by some hot shots backed by political leaders. As a result, they tried to crush him down from every angle, they used to threat him, scandalize him, a couple of time physically abused him, in one word, they tried to make his life a perfect hell, he had to leave the town and settle outside west Bengal to earn is living. But still he protests when he sees some thing wrong, whereas his tormentors often boast that if some one dares to protest them his condition will be like him. But I personally feel that they know that they have lost the battle, their only small win is making that guy leave the town, their boasting is bleak and groundless, because they might have called themselves conquerors if that guy had bowed down before them and accepted their corrupted activities without protest.

I have a deep belief in the old saying, that honesty pays. In the long run, it’s the honest people who are happy and satisfied. They may get exploited, bulldozed, hounded, but the amount of satisfaction and inner peace they get is worth the trouble. And I also have started to believe another thing that honest people are most scandalized.

Meeks rule the world

Bible says meeks inherit the earth, I too believe it now. I have already shared my experience about the friend who left his own home but did not surrendered to evil. The second example is also a friend, this time girl friend, she is a very sweet natured lady, as a result she has been extremely exploited by her own siblings. She stayed single, a little by choice and a little due to circumstances. I have not seen weird people like her siblings.

They have saved a huge amount of money by using her as a free of cost maid.
It will seem as if they had it planned for years that they wont let her pursue any career, nor will they let her get married so they could utilize her toils free of cost. After exploiting her for years they have not been able to make her miserable, despite all the exploitation she has faced, she is gentle, god loving and happy go lucky person, whereas her siblings after usurping her rightful property are forever yearning for more money and live a miserable life. Full of bickering and clashes among themselves and others around them.

These two examples have taught me two things, first is money, no matter how little it is, if it is earned by honest means it gives the greatest satisfaction. Whereas people who earn money by stealing, cheating or other means, they may amass a wealth but they never enjoy it, because they do these things out of nature, and that restless nature never lets them enjoy any thing.

That is why I think people who know the true meaning of happiness don’t haunt for greener pastures, they stay content with their present.

disappearing laughter

If we notice we will see, how this virtue is disappearing from the society, I believe the main reason behind it are smile snubbers. They are a hefty portion of the society.. the people who are either unhappy or grumpy, so they love to play the role of smile snubbers. Whenever they see some one happy or in a light mood they think that its their divine duty to rectify that fault and they mostly successfully do it. Snub the smile away from the lips before it turns into a laughter.

You will usually find them in every place, if you are born with smiling lips like me, and trying your level best to copy others who are successful at suppressing it. They are abundant in office, in buses in parks every where. They are huge in number. They have one common symptom, they think life is too serious to enjoy. Enjoying life is immatured. In the eyes of these souls life is either a torment, or a grave duty which they have to perform. I was once of a very silly nature, that is, till seven or eight years ago I used to laugh too much, hence I have faced the wrath of this species too much. They finally succeeded into teaching me some manners, but I am not even the least grateful.

They sometimes take extra care to perform their duties, back in teenage days, once I was traveling in bus with a classmate of mine, we both were equally crazy, one look at each other and we used to go rolling thinking about all the mischief we have done together. But it was never directed at anyone, our laughters were pure, without any reason, or due to harmless reasons. We did not got seats so we were standing side by side after spending a day in school. All of a sudden she started to giggle and before I realized I too started to giggle, and every time one of us was trying to control oneself the other’s giggle was breaking her vow, all of a sudden a girl sitting in front of us started to quarrel with us, blaming that we were laughing at her, we tried in vain to make her believe that we were not laughing at her, but she quarreled with great vehemence for the next forty five minutes we were in the bus together. That time, well, her snubbing did not work, because the more she was quarrelling the more we were laughing. But with maturity and age now these snubbing usually work.

Mostly these people are abundant in office, they don’t like people enjoying their life, and take care that others don’t enjoy theirs too. Especially if that person is in their hold, that is, their junior. They try to snub out that spirit by over burdening them with work, snapping at them without reason or hundred other pretexts. To them work is a grim thing, it cant go side by side with a grin. It has to be done with the expression of a surgeon doing an autopsy.

Whereas when I was a child I have seen that my father’s friends or even seniors did not minded laughing together, they were far more jollier than the people of that age group of present age. When they used to laugh or my aunties used to laugh we could hear it from far and wide, and we used to hear it very often, and it sounded really sweet.

I have often heard from my professional friends that they don’t laugh in office because its not smart to laugh in office, they don’t speak affectionately to colleagues because its not liked and so on. They are not wrong, these things do create a lot of unnecessary problem in most of the offices, specially if that office has high political level.

I have heard smile snubbers giving strange excuse for their behaviour like being so friendly is immatured, being so trusting is foolish, laughing so much is childish, hence its their moral duty to make that person of suspicious, grumpy and morose nature. I have faced too many of these people, some are rude and some diplomatic. Like I once heard from one of my bosses that one cant enjoy his work. Period. She sounded final, so I did not opened my mouth, but did not agreed with them. These people are safer. They don’t poison your mind. They try to bully you, but no one can read your mind, so you are safe. I really don’t like the second category, these people, if they say a group is enjoying, or two people are too happy together they poison it, very tactfully they create walls or sow the seed of suspicion, and usually they succeed.

But the sad part is If we continue moving this way to emotional mechanisation we sure will have to inject ourselves for laughter in a couple of years, even laughing clubs wont be able to do their jobs.

So lets fight these smile snubbers, and laugh more. To ward them and the energy vampires off. After all, if majority of us practice laughing and smiling, limited number of smile snubbers and energy vampires will run away or join.

Life

Life
29.12.08

Life is a bliss if you can feel it, cherish it
Dark days will come so will days sunlit
It depends on us how we will see it
Shall we leave night behind and look at the morn, face it
Or shall we spend our life dragging shadow over light
Stare at the dark shadows when the sun is shining bright

Don’t think you are the unluckiest soul, the eternally lost
sheep, lost in the wilderness when all others are heading
home, you are the only one wandering in dark and frost,
we all are walking around a little in haze, a little brooding
over our failures, losses and heart breaks, and little hurts
but those who trust the shepherd know where they are heading

so, when the days seem too tiring, nights too dark
just keep in mind the shepherd, who watches over
all his children, stretches out his arm when we seek
to hold us, to shelter us, and to glide us over
the stones, the unknowns, the mountains and creek
let your faith for him grow strong never let it waiver.

Soon you will see that all your worries have gone
Like the clouds drift away after the rain
When pours down upon us the rays of sun
When you realize that you are one of God’s children
He cares for you, protects, loves, cherishes as his own
Life stays just the way it was only the despair is gone
that is what makes the change; the laughter, the fun
comes back when you laugh at your own reflection