Gratitude

Gratitude, a divine word, but this feeling, and its expression should be measured for our own sake. Because this feeling is often used as a weapon of exploitation against a noble heart.

Every one has read the epic Ramayan, how Dashrath’s grateful nature resulted in his death pining for his beloved son. Those who have not, Dasharath was a great king, one of his queens once saved his life, he promised her that he will fulfill her three wishes. Then time passed by and time came when Dasharath was about to hand over his throne to his elder-most son, Sriram that very day the queen requested him to fulfill her three wishes, as a result Sriram went to forest and her son Bharat was made the king. Dasharath died pining for his beloved son in a very short span of time.

It’s a very true word, gratitude blesses the heart which holds it, I some how feel that a person without gratitude is hardly a human being. But, then again this feeling can be overwhelming, it can blind us from realizing selfish motives behind a petty act of kindness. I have often wanted to discuss the flip and the flop side of this coin.

Lets first take up the beautiful sides of this divine virtue which makes our soul beautiful, without which we somehow lack to be human being. It is often quoted as essence of humanity. It gives happiness not only to the person who does a good deed, it makes the person on the receiving end a happier person. Because by realizing the good deed and its beauty he relishes it twice.

On the other hand this is a virtue which can make us puppet in the hands of a scheming person. People who help others and in return of that help sometimes completely control their life. I am not talking on this topic based on assumptions, they are mostly based on my personal experiences, and experience of years.

I once personally knew a lady from intimate proximity, who used to give gifts to her own siblings as payment of services, or as advance payment of services. She used to give gifts after some one did her some service, or give some one a gift and immediately thereafter request that person to do some thing for her. Now, most of the people will execute that request out of gratitude. And usually her expectations were far more higher than the petty gifts she used to hand out. She used to control the very life of her hapless gift receivers, preying on their sense of gratitude. But can we call them gifts? Or shall we call it the price of those works? Or she never helped any one unless she extracted a bigger help in return of that help. Can we call these help?

So very often have I heard people boasting or stating to their close persons, that they have helped a person in his bad days so he is bound to help them anywhere, any time that I have started to believe that some people help others to enslave them. Do we help others to create a right on them for a pay back of that help? Its natural that we will expect some gratitude from a person we have helped, but why shall we expect return, or be more precise demand return? After all, a help is supposed to be an unselfish action, or else it will be called a paid service, not help.

I have seen a few persons actually doing like that in my life, heard a few more complaining about help that were not returned, but, there are high chances that there are more people like them. Who help others with the expectation that they have bound that person in a string of emotional or real obligation.

Some introspection and study of human nature has taught me one thing, which I don’t think a lot of people agree with, that is, its ok to not pay back every help. Or feel extremely grateful to every one who has helped us. I firmly believe that one should try his level best to not harm a person who has done him some good, but to feel overwhelmed by helps… well…